


Let‘s Pretend

by wematch



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Cuddling, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Party Games, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Truth or Dare, bed sharing, fake dating au, it's all very soft, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-15 11:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wematch/pseuds/wematch
Summary: Isak has been trying to get rid of Emma for weeks, luckily for him Even has a plan.





	1. Chapter 1

Isak, for the first three weeks of school, has managed to avoid Vilde, but after she decided to talk about it with Eskild, Isak finds himself hosting a kosegruppa meeting anyway.

So when everyone is busy at the table eating and chatting Isak goes to the kitchen to try and find some peace and quiet until everyone decides to leave. Even follows him soon after.

Even–who Isak has only known for a few weeks because he transferred this year to Nissen–is the reason he doesn’t really hate kosegruppa. They met in the first gathering and Isak was grateful that they started talking, even if the conversation happened because Even used all the paper towels in the bathroom.

Whenever they’re together Isak finds himself relaxing around Even. He even manages to forget all his problems. He loves when he can make Even laugh, because when he smiles his deep blue eyes crinkle and Isak loves seeing him like that.

So they just stay in the kitchen chilling, drinking beer, and chatting until Emma comes in. Isak curses internally because he’s been avoiding her ever since he kissed her at Eva’s party during the first week of school.

“Hi!” she says with a bright smile.

“Hi,” Even responds; Isak just stares at her, a little worried about why she came to the kitchen.

She’s speaking but he’s not really paying attention. Instead, Isak takes another sip of his drink and risks glancing at Even. Only to find the other boy looking at him with an amused expression. Isak then starts to furrow his eyebrows in confusion when Even nods in her direction clearly indicating that Emma was talking to him.

“Hm? Sorry,” Isak says, taking his eyes off Even.

“I just asked why are you avoiding me?” She crosses her arms before she continues, “I mean, we kissed weeks ago, and we haven’t been able to just hang out…”

“Oh…” He clenches his fist, trying to think of a way to make it clear to her that he’s not interested. He looks at his feet before he starts to speak, “Look… I’m just not interested,” he says bluntly thinking about how Even is standing really close to him and what it does to his heart whenever their eyes meet.

“But why?” she asks, and he stiffens. Then as he slowly looks up, he notices the hurt on her face. Isak can’t help but feel bad about it, because it’s not her fault after all.

“He’s interested in someone else.” Even slowly adds. Isak frowning turns his attention to him wondering what is he talking about. And Even noticing him looking arches his eyebrows, like he’s telling Isak not to question him and just follow his plan, so he ends up nodding at Emma, confirming what Even just told her.

“Okay…” she starts, looking like she’s not buying it “But who?”

“Uhm..” Isak–not expecting this question–looks at Even for help, but quickly looks back at Emma trying to think of someone’s name to just tell her when he suddenly feels an arm around his shoulders and all of a sudden Even is pressed against his side. Isak starts to blush because they’ve never been this close before so he looks at him expecting some kind of signal for what he’s doing but Even is looking straight at Emma.

“Me.”

 

***

 

After Emma left the kitchen Even continued to talk about the movie that he was previously telling Isak about, like nothing weird had happened in the meantime. But when Even notices how quiet Isak is he brings the topic back.

“So.. do you think Emma will finally let you alone?” he asks, speaking quietly by his side.

Isak sighs before he finally answers him. “Uhm… I don’t know, she’s really persistent and she didn’t looked really convinced about it.”

Even seems to consider what he just told him before saying in a whisper. “I can help with that.”

“Okay?” Isak says unsure.

Even gives him a smile before continuing, “Don’t worry about it, what are friends for?”

Isak looks down at his feet wondering what could possibly Even have in mind. But even though he’s not entirely sure what he’s agreeing with, he ends up saying a quiet “Thanks.”

 

***

 

Isak has been having trouble sleeping for the past few weeks so he feels exhausted when monday morning comes. He and the boys are hanging out by the lockers waiting for the bell to ring when Isak spots Even coming towards them.

Isak immediately thinks of the last time he saw him, and how Even said that he was going to help him ditch Emma. Isak didn’t ask what he had in mind but has been thinking about it the whole weekend. Will he try to seduce Emma so that she forgets all about him? That’s what worries Isak because he feels a sick twist in his stomach whenever he thinks of Even kissing other people ever since he told him he used to have a girlfriend in his old school, so he’s not looking forward to watching it happening in front of him. He considers telling Even that he doesn’t need his help: that he can keep ignoring Emma until she gets bored and move on.

“Hey guys.” Even says as he shakes hands with them. He stops right by Isak’s side leaning against the lockers and pressing his arm against his. Isak becomes very aware of how close they are; on how he can feel Even’s body heat and every little movement he makes by his side, so he just stares at the floor.

As Magnus starts retelling his latest dream involving Vilde for Even to listen, Mahdi and Jonas start to make fun of him so Isak decides to take of his scarf off since it’s warmer inside the school and tries to put it inside his bag. When the bell rings and the boys start to hurry up the stairs to get to their classes. Even stays behind and turns to Isak, casually leaning a bit into his direction. “Don’t look… “ he says, ”but Emma is right at the end of the hall looking this way.”

“Fuck” Isak swears, immediately thinking that they should go before she decides to come here. He starts trying to close his backpack in a hurry, but it’s too full so he can’t do it. He admits defeat and sighs loudly before he pulls the scarf out of his backpack again.

“Can I borrow it?” Even asks him as he grabs the scarf from Isak’s hands.

Isak blinks stupidly at him before he answers. “Uhm…sure.”

Even–without taking his eyes off Isak–puts it around his neck, and winks before he leaves too. Isak can’t help himself when he immediately starts to blush. When he regains his focus and realizes that he’s late, he notices Emma staring at him, and he hurriedly walks away.

 


	2. Chapter 2

When Wednesday arrives Isak finds himself forced to go to kosegruppa again after classes. Everytime he shows up, Sana gives him a portion back from Mahdi’s stash as a reward. At least Even keeps coming back every week too so Isak hopes he’ll come today as well to keep him company.

He’s playing on his phone when someone stops right in front of him; he curses internally when he recognizes Emma’s voice.

“So… where is Even?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” Isak says, wishing that Even was here right now.

Emma comes closer to Isak and he starts thinking of moving away when she whispers,“ is your thing really a secret?”

Isak is confused about what could she possibly be talking about, so he looks at her without really knowing what to say. “Uhm…”

And that’s when Even enters the room, To Isak’s relief he immediately starts walking in their direction. He sits down right next to Isak and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“Hey there,” Even starts without taking his eyes off of Emma, “what are you guys talking about?”

Isak immediately starts to relax; he can’t deal with Emma alone–there’s too much on his head right now–but Even said that he was going to help him get rid of her.

“I was just asking Isak about, you know…” she starts looking around her to check if someone’s listening to them.

“About my thing?” Isak adds, unsure because he still has no clue what the fuck she’s talking about.

“Your thing?” Even repeats and he can see that he’s finding the choice of words amusing, and that makes Isak blush.

“Your thing. You know…” she says, putting emphasis on the “your” part, then looks at Even before she continues. “That thing you told me about yesterday?”

Even smile seems to falter before he replies. “Yes… what about it?”

“Is just that, it’s 2016. There’s no need for all this secrecy.”

Isak becomes worried about what Even could have told her. Has he figured out that he’s gay? Maybe that’s why he told her he was interested in him. Isak snaps out of his internal debate when he feels Even tightening his hold on his shoulder before answering her. “We know… thanks.”

“Okay then…Oh! Vilde said you’re going to host kosegruppa next week at your house Isak?”

“I am?” he asks, frowning at her, and wondering why he’s the only one that has to host this stupid thing.

“She said that Eskild said it was fine? And since we’re in the same group you can text me in advance so that I can help with the preparations this week? I feel bad for not helping out the last time.”

“Uhm yeah, we’ll text you,” Even answers quickly.

“Okay…cool.” With that she leaves to join her friends and Isak gets up to catch some air.

 

***

 

Isak is sitting outside with his feet on the seat of the bench when Even comes and stops in front of him.

“What exactly did you tell her?” Isak asks quietly.

“That we’re secretly dating,” he says with a shrug. “I figured that if you were in a relationship, she would back off.”

Isak opens his mouth to say something but he finds himself speechless. All of a sudden their talk just a few minutes ago makes much more sense. And he can’t believe that this was Even’s plan–isn’t he straight?

“Is that alright?” Even asks, looking unsure. They stare at each other until Even arches his eyebrows at him which wakes Isak up.

“Uhm… You do know that she’s probably gonna tell her friends; this won’t exactly be a secret?” There’s no secrets in this fucking school, Isak thinks bitterly. They always end up spreading.

He just shrugs, “I did ask her to keep it a secret, but I’m not really expecting her to keep it to herself–not for long anyway.”

Isak feels like he must be dreaming; he would never have imagined that the boy he has a crush on would casually pretend that they’re dating just to help him out.

“But aren’t you straight?” Isak blurts out. He’s wanted to know since the first time he saw Even.

Even comes to sit by his side on the bench and looks at Isak before he answers. “Just because I had a girlfriend doesn’t mean that I’m straight.”

“Oh okay. That’s chill,” Isak replies. He takes a deep breath and smiles at Even, thinking that maybe there’s a chance that the boy he likes might like him back.

“So… boyfriends now?” Even asks with a smirk, moving his eyebrows suggestively and Isak can’t help but start laughing at the surreal situation he’s found himself in. Even joins him.

When they calm down, Even has his arm around Isak again and he lets himself enjoy it. His whole side is pressed to Even so he looks at him out of the corner of his eye, letting himself enjoy the way Even looks so good right there next to him with a small smile on his lips. Isak has never looked at him so closely before. He can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss him. Would it feel the same as kissing a girl?

Isak is so lost in the moment that he startles when Even speaks again. “Anyway… In a few weeks you can just break up with me if you want and that’s it.”

Isak thinks Even is just trying to make a joke out of the situation, but Isak is convinced that it’s not going to go well–not for him at least–but there’s no way he’s gonna stop it now. Not when he has an excuse to be near Even all the time.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Isak enters the tram to go home when he spots Even holding onto the bar in front of him. He can’t help but start grinning when he notices that Even is wearing his scarf, and he likes seeing him with it.

Isak grabs the same bar Even’s holding onto and puts himself right in front of him. Even looks up from his phone and the moment he recognizes Isak his face immediately brightens up.

“On your way home?” Even asks as he stores his phone in his pocket.

“Yeah. And you?”

“Same…we should hang. Do you want to come with me?”

“Uhm… sure.” Isak says, trying not to look too happy about it. They’ve hang out together a few times before, but it’s the first time since the whole thing with Emma started so; he’s happy that their friendship is really okay, and that Even still wants to spend time with him.

Without knowing what else to say, Isak tries to find something to distract himself. He ends up tugging on his scarf that is currently around Even’s neck. Isak’s hand stays a little longer than necessary on the scarf and starts to lightly touch Even’s chest. Even –who has been following the movement of Isak’s hand with his eyes–looks up at him and asks gently, “do you want it back?”

“No, no, you can keep it for now if you want,” Isak replies immediately.

“It’s been a lifesaver.” Even says with a grin, bringing the scarf closer around his neck and making a content expression.

Isak knows that he’s grinning pathetically at Even, but at the moment he doesn’t really care. Seeing Even like this makes Isak’s heart start beating a little faster and is giving him an urge to reach out and put his hands in Even’s neck to make sure that his scarf is properly placed around his neck.

 

***

 

“So… what’s the verdict on this one?” Isak asks once they’re in Even’s room. He grabs a dvd that’s currently sitting on the desk.

Even walks to his side to look at the case. “The Butterfly Effect? It’s quite interesting, actually. Mikael let me borrow it because I haven’t seen it in a while. Have you seen it before?”

“Hmm no… pretty sure I haven’t,” Isak says as he turns the cover around to look at the summary. He doesn’t manage to read it because Even takes the dvd from his hands.

“How have you not seen it before? We’re going to see it now,” he says, grabbing his laptop and putting it on his bed. “Climb the stairs to the bed, I’m gonna make popcorn and I’ll be right back.”

Isak does and when Even climbs up a few minutes later he passes the bowl of popcorn to Isak so that he can turn the laptop on.

Watching a movie with Even is always quite an experience. He always has some interesting facts about it to share. Like how the director managed to set just the right mood for a specific scene with the right camera angles and the music behind it. Isak doesn’t understand most of it. But he enjoys the way Even gets excited talking about something that he’s so passionate about.

It’s not the first time they’ve watched a movie together, but they usually do it at the kollektiv in Isak’s room, or in Even’s couch. And usually the laptop is in between them. But now Even decided that they could see the screen better with the laptop balanced in their legs, so Isak finds himself with Even pressed to his side for two hours whispering things in his ear about the movie.

Isak tries not to think too much about where he currently is, but it’s impossible. He’s aware of every little movement Even is making, and Isak can’t help but keep glancing at him through the movie. And when at some point there was an explosion and they both jumped, Even grabbed his arm and didn’t let go until the movie was done, so Isak only focused on how his touch felt. It felt like it could set him on fire, and Isak just wanted more.

“I really liked the movie,” Isak says when the credits start to roll and Even turns around moving slightly closer to him. “It really makes you think…” Isak continues, “ about your actions, and where you’d be now if you changed something in your past.”

“Yeah… a simple change could make everything different…” Even starts, looking at the ceiling, “and not just for you, but for everyone around you.”

Isak can’t help but stare at Even’s mouth while he speaks and wonders if in a parallel universe there’s an Isak kissing Even right now, instead of just dreaming about it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

When Friday arrives Even comes with Isak to the kollektif to help him prepare the house for the kosegruppa meeting.

“Emma texted me saying that she just left the tram, so she’ll be here in 5 minutes,” Isak tells him, thinking that at least everyone else is coming in shortly after too.

“Cool,” Even answers as he pours a bag of chips into a bowl.

As time passes, Isak starts feeling more nervous as he keeps thinking that Emma will either tell everyone about them supposedly dating, or she will figure that it’s a lie and ask Isak to explain himself. And Isak doesn’t know which option makes him more nervous. “Do you think she’ll make more questions?”

“Hm?” Even asks, looking up at him from the table. When he sees the worried expression on Isak’s face he immediately understands. “Oh, you mean about us dating?”

“Yeah,” Isak says, looking at the floor.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it believable so she doesn’t bother you anymore.”

“Okay...” he answers, but then he eyes Even suspiciously, “How do you plan on doing that?”

The doorbell rings, and Isak walks to the door. Even comes trailing after him and quietly asks, “Do you trust me?”

“Yeah,” Isak answers, stopping in front of the door. He turns his head around to face Even, only to find him smiling at his quick response.

“Just… just tell me if you’re not okay with this.” Even says, moving closer so that he’s standing right behind Isak and puts his arm around him.

Isak freezes at the sudden proximity; he can only focus on the hand that’s gently pressed on his stomach pulling him closer to Even’s chest.

“Okay?” Even whispers in his ear, but Isak can’t speak, so he just nods. Then he opens the door and all he can see is Emma’s incredulous face looking at them.

Even holds Isak tight against him and rests his chin on his shoulder. “Hi Emma… sorry we kept you waiting at the door.”

 

***

 

Time passes in a blur to Isak--he can only focus on Even beside him, on his constant touches, and his beautiful smile whenever they joke about something.

When Vilde makes everyone decorate the cookies, Even makes his look like a butterfly and Isak can’t help but grin at him, remembering the time they watched the movie in Even’s bed.

Through the whole gathering they sat close together and except for Emma looking at them every now and then, no one really paid attention to them. For some reason, he’d thought he would be more uncomfortable about this, about what everyone would think of their proximity, but having Even by his side--legs pressed together and arms touching--just feels right and easy.

However, the thought that this could be all pretend for Even because he’s just trying to help him crosses Isak’s mind so he stays quiet for awhile until he feels Even nudging his side.

“Everything alright?” Even asks when Isak looks at him.

“Yeah sorry… uhm... I was just thinking about that movie.” Isak is a terrible liar, Even said so himself but if he knows that Isak just lied to him, he lets it pass.

“Great movie right? Did you know that there's a second one?”

“Oh really? I didn't know that.”

“Well we're just gonna have to watch it, then.”

“We could watch it tonight?” Isak starts, and Even smiles at him so he keeps going with a little more confidence, “after everyone leaves. If you want?”

“I came with my bicycle, so that sounds great.”

When everyone leaves Even follows him to his bedroom and they make themselves comfortable in Isak’s bed to watch the movie. They’re very close together so that they both can watch the laptop on Even’s legs and Isak--who hasn't been sleeping much lately-- finds himself beginning to relax next to him. Isak starts to feel his eyes getting heavier as the movie plays, and Even’s voice eventually lulls him to sleep.

 

***

 

Isak wakes up feeling slightly more rested than he’s been for quite some time. And when he finally opens his eyes he notices that it’s still the middle of the night and that he's sleeping on someone's chest. Even’s chest. Isak immediately stiffens, thinking that he must have moved in his sleep. He finds himself torn between moving away before Even wakes up and just stay like this for a few more minutes because he's just so comfortable right now.

That's when he feels Even’s hand on his back making slow movements up and down before he speaks.

“Relax Isak...” he starts talking slowly and his voice is rough, “just rest...looks like you need it.”

So Isak does. He lets himself fall asleep on Even’s chest again while Even gently rubs his back.

 

***

 

Isak wakes up again to the soft sound of someone’s breathing close to his ear, and when he starts to gain his senses he finds himself with his head tucked under Even’s. He can feel him softly breathing on his hair and the slow rise of his chest. Isak should move--he really really should--because even though Even apparently realized that he was exhausted and felt bad for Isak and let him rest on top of him, he's probably crossing some line by not moving now. However, the idea of leaving and losing the warmth of Even, who has an arm still around him, makes Isak miss it just by thinking about it. Instead, he decides to cuddle closer to Even and enjoy it while he can.

When Isak finally feels Even stirring, indicating that he’s starting to wake up, he holds his breath waiting for Even to move away. When he doesn't, Isak lets himself relax again. Even then starts to gently rub his back again and places a soft kiss on Isak’s forehead. Isak completely freezes because did Even just gave him a kiss or did he imagine it? He doesn’t have the courage to open his eyes right now.

“You awake?” Even whispers with a voice still rough from sleep. He must have sensed when Isak completely froze.

Isak doesn’t trust himself to speak just yet so he nods, and it ends up making him rub his hair on Even’s face.

Even chuckles gently, and puts a hand on Isak’s head to make him stop. “That tickles Isak...” It comes out muffled because he’s speaking into his hair. Then he yawns before he adds, “I’m gonna make us breakfast okay?”

Even doesn’t wait for Isak to reply, he just starts to move slowly away from him in the bed. When Isak listens to the door being opened he finally lets himself open his eyes to look at Even, and he catches a glimpse of him putting one of his hoodies on before the door is closed.

Isak looks to the other side of the bed that Even was using moments ago, still not quite believing that what just happened wasn’t a dream.

 


	5. Chapter 5

When Monday comes and Isak arrives at school he finds Even waiting for him. He puts his arm around Isak the whole walk as they pass all of his friends and Emma’s group near the door. Once they’re inside near the lockers, Vilde stops them and says, “Hi!”

“Hi Vilde,” they both reply.

She looks between them before speaking again. “So, I’ve heard some rumours...” she pauses, looking at Even’s arm around Isak, “and I wanted to know if it’s really true that you two are together?”

Isak looks to his side for one second, silently asking Even for help. The thought of denying everything crosses his mind, but he really doesn’t want to do it. And they’re still pretty close to Emma's group so there's a good chance she might be watching them.

Even leans into him and kisses him lightly on the cheek. Isak can’t help but blush because of it. He puts his arm around Even’s side to bring him closer. This is all new to Isak--the wanting to be close to someone--but with Even he doesn’t really have to think about it, his body just reacts on autopilot, pulling them closer like there’s an invisible thread connecting them.

When Even moves slightly away from Isak he turns to Vilde and smiles, letting his actions confirm the rumours about them.

 

***

 

Through the whole morning Isak keeps thinking about the kiss, and the fact that if Vilde heard about them then the whole school must know it too.

At lunch Isak walks with Jonas to the cafeteria when a group of girls stops them to let him know that they support his relationship. Isak, not knowing what to say, just nods at them and grabs Jonas to keep walking away.

When they finally sit down at their table in the corner, Jonas clears his throat and glances at Isak. He then turns his attention back to the rush of people coming in and out before he speaks. “So what’s up between you and Even?”

“You heard the rumours too?”

“Yeah...” He looks calmly at Isak, like they are just talking about the weather and not whether or not he’s dating a guy, “are they real?”

Isak thinks that he should tell his best friend the truth, but he has been wanting to tell Jonas that he likes boys for a while now, so he ends up confirming the rumors.“Yeah...Even and I sort of have a thing going on.”

“Okay, that’s cool,” Jonas says with an easy smile, so Isak smiles too. He might have lied about the relationship between him and Even, but he just came out to his best friend and now he feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

 

***

 

As his last class comes to an end Isak starts to feel nervous, Even had asked him to hang out at his place after school and the only thing Isak can think about is how this lie has gone too far. It’s one thing to pretend for Emma, but now they’re lying to the whole school.

Through the whole afternoon Isak couldn't stop thinking about the two kisses Even gave him--innocent kisses that probably meant nothing. So after they make some awful sandwiches and sit on the sofa under Even’s bed, Isak goes quiet.

“Is everything alright?” Even asks gently.

“Yeah...” Isak says, looking down at his knees.

Even bumps his shoulder with Isak’s and looks at him expectantly.

Isak takes a deep breath before finally saying what’s on his mind. “Everyone really thinks that we’re dating...”

“Well…” Even starts, eyes crinkling as a playful smile starts to appear on his lips, “at least you’re good looking; it could be worse.”

Isak begins to blush, not really believing what he had just heard. Their eyes meet and they both start to grin.

“Is this because of the kiss I gave you? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Even eventually says when Isak doesn’t respond.

“No, it's not like that… I'm totally fine with kissing,”  Isak begins to say, but when he realizes what exactly he just told Even he starts to blush even more. Even moves his eyebrows in a suggestive way which makes Isak hide behind his hands. “What I meant to say was... that’s not the problem.”

“What’s the problem then?”

“The problem is that Jonas asked me what was going on with us, and I didn't tell him the truth.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? I should have told him the truth, not lie to my best friend.”

“Why didn't you?” Even asks him softly.

“He looked so chill when he asked me about you… that I just wanted to finally tell him that I like boys so I told him we have a thing going on,” Isak says, looking guiltily at Even.

“It's fine Isak. I don't mind.” Even puts a hand on Isak’s arm before he continues “I’m actually really glad I could help you come out to him.”

Isak feels a small smile forming on his lips, Even has done so much already that Isak isn’t sure how he could repay him. He looks at Even and becomes very aware of the way their legs are touching, his eyes staring right at Isak like he’s searching for something, and his mouth slightly open begging to be kissed. Isak has never wanted to kiss someone as badly as he wants to kiss Even. It’s all about Even in his head ever since the first time he saw him.

“You know what the funny thing is?” Isak says bitterly, “the whole school knows that I like guys now and I've never even kissed a guy before.” he sighs before he continues, “I just hope it's better than when I had to kiss girls.”

Even looks at him intensely and moves closer. “We could do it,” he whispers.

“What?” Isak says, surprised. Is Even really proposing what Isak thinks he is?

Even turns his body around so that he's completely facing Isak. “Do you want to?”

As soon as Isak nods, Even starts to lean closer. He puts a hand on Isak’s neck and then when their noses brush, he watches as Even begins to close his eyes. Isak can feel him breathing on his face so he stays frozen in place, afraid to ruin the moment. But when he feels Even’s lips gently pressing against his, he closes his eyes too.

The kiss feels nothing like Isak has ever experienced and it’s doing things to him that he only heard about in movies. His heart is beating so fast that he’s sure Even must hear it.  He feels the need to bring Even closer, to run his hands all over him and never let go.

As if reading his mind, Even moves closer, pressing his body against Isak. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss and Isak swears that that it’s the most intense thing he has ever experienced.

When Isak is about to move his hand to grab his hair, Even moves away. At the sudden loss of contact, Isak opens his eyes. The sight of Even with his lips swollen, slightly panting and blushing just because of their kiss makes Isak itch to get closer to him again.

“So…” Even clears his throat, “did it feel any different from kissing a girl?”

“Uhm...” Isak slowly blinks and swallows hard before adding,“definitely.”

“In a good way I hope?” Even says with a knowing look at him.

“Oh yeah...” Isak replies, feeling his cheeks burning so he looks down at his feet.

“Okay, I’m going to make us some popcorn, turn on my laptop and put Romeo+Juliet on?” Even says as he gets up.

“Sure,” Isak responds quickly, not really caring that Even wants to watch that movie again. He gets up to grab the laptop from the desk, glad for the distance between them, and when Even leaves the room he takes a deep breath and lets himself smile. Even just kissed him, this time on the mouth.

When the movie ends Isak goes back to the kollektiv and stays in bed awake replaying the kiss over and over in his head. He can still remember the ghost of Even’s lips on his, and how good it felt to have Even so close to him.

 

***

 

Two days pass before the boys finally confront Isak about Even. He’d known it was coming, but he just hadn't found the courage to say something before. So whenever he saw Magnus and Mahdi glancing at each other near him, Isak started purposely avoiding their eyes.

When they’ve all gathered around Isak’s locker waiting for Even to join them for kebabs, Magnus asks abruptly, “so what's up between you and Even?”

The sudden question makes Isak drop one of his books to the floor. To calm himself he takes his time picking it up and then he turns to Magnus. “What about it?”

“Vilde told me you two are together? And I thought that if that was real you would have told us? Plus there's no way that you're gay,” he says with a confused expression, looking at Mahdi for confirmation.

“It’s true-” Isak starts, but he’s interrupted.

“But just a few weeks ago you were making out with Emma,” Magnus says, still sounding unsure.

“Maybe he’s bisexual?” Mahdi adds, shrugging.

Isak sighs, wondering how he’s going to explain that he’s just been kissing girls so that they didn’t know he was gay this whole time.

“Well Even is coming so you can just ask him if it’s true or not,” Jonas says to them.

Isak turns around and indeed he sees Even coming down the stairs towards them.

“Hey guys,’” he says when he reaches the group; then he looks around noticing everyone staring at him so he adds frowning slightly. “Do I have something on my face?”

Mahdi nudges Magnus, whispering, “ask him.” Then they look at each other unsure.

Isak takes a deep breath and finally says, “they don't believe we're dating.”

Even, to Isak’s surprise, looks around amused and his eyes stay on Jonas until he says defensively, “he's not talking about me. I believe it.”

Isak gives Jonas a quick, thankful look before his attention turns back to Even, who is suddenly standing right in front of him.

“This should make it clear...” Even says in a low whisper, right before he grabs Isak by the neck and closes the space between them. Isak freezes for a second but this time he manages to put his hand around Even’s back to bring him closer.

When Isak remembers where he is and that all his friends are right by his side watching, he slowly moves away not taking his eyes off Even. Because Even just kissed him, again. And he didn't have to do it. Does he really want to kiss Isak? Or is this all just pretend for him?

Isak can't help the grin that starts forming in his face when Even turns to Magnus and arches his eyebrows, as if daring him to question their relationship now.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Even disappears for a few days and Isak starts to get worried because he isn’t answering any of his messages. When Friday comes he decides to go to Even’s house and check up on him.

His mom is the one who opens the door. Isak has seen her briefly once before, but he starts to think that maybe he should have thought about his plan a little better instead of just showing up at the door.

After his mom lets him in he asks for Even. “Is… Even alright? He hasn’t been to school.”

She looks at him like she’s studying him before answering, “you’re Isak right? I’ve seen you here before.”

“Uhm… Yeah.”

“Even has been mentioning you a lot recently, so I figured that must be you.” She gives him a kind smile before continuing,  “he hasn’t been feeling well… but today he’s a little better and maybe seeing you will be good for him.”

Once she finishes speaking she motions towards Even’s room and Isak starts walking towards the door. When he’s about to open it, she speaks again softly. “Dear? If you care about him don’t let him push you away, okay?”

He merely nods in her direction before he enters, wondering how sick Even has been the last couple of days.

Isak has to climb a few of the steps of Even’s bed to be able to see him and when he does he pauses. Even looks so tired and lost that Isak just wants to reach out to him to make sure he’s alright. But he doesn’t; instead, when he notices Even slowly moving his head towards him and their eyes meet he merely whispers, “hi.”

Even seems to pause and gather his thoughts before he weakly answers. “Hi…” Then he slowly moves to the side as if creating space in the bed. Isak climbs the rest of the steps and lies down next to Even.

Once Isak is settled facing him, Even closes his eyes. Isak speaks softly trying not to disrupt him. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m sorry,” Even says weakly now looking at the ceiling.

“For what?” Isak asks confused. Even is sick; it’s not his fault.

“For worrying you.”

“You’re fine, that’s all that matters.”

Even looks at him sideways and then closes his eyes briefly until he speaks, like he’s trying to figure out what to say next. “It’s not that simple.”

The conversation seems to be draining all of Even’s energy away so Isak just wants him to stop talking and focus on healing himself. “Even… rest, you can explain later.”

Even looks at him again, with his eyes half closed like he’s trying to fight to not fall asleep, so Isak moves closer to him and puts an arm around Even “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, and rests his head on Even’s pillow to show him that he means it.

After that, Even lets himself fall asleep and Isak, in the dim light of the room begins to feel his own body relax. he lets himself look at Even’s sleeping form and tries to memorize every detail of him. He notices that Even is sleeping with his hoodie when he moves a little in his sleep and uncovers himself. Isak carefully pulls the sheets up again around Even and he can’t help himself when he notices a lock of hair out of place and his hand gently moves it away from Even’s face. After discovering how soft it is, he lets his hand continue to travel through Even’s hair until it reaches his neck and then Isak lets his hand stay there.

When Isak starts to feel his eyelids getting heavier he hears Even’s breathing change. He starts to feel him moving slowly closer to him, they’re so close that when Even opens his eyes their noses are practically touching. He blinks a few times trying to regain his focus and then Even’s mouth makes a small smile letting Isak know that he’s glad to find him still in his bed.

“Need anything?” Isak asks smiling, back at him.

“No…” Even says, and clears his throat. “I’m bipolar Isak… that’s why I’m like this. Do you know what it means?”

Isak stares at him while he thinks about it, then he quietly says, “I know it’s a mental illness and that Magnus mom has it but… I don’t know much about it.”

“It basically means that I have some very high moments and some very low ones…” he closes his eyes before he continues in a low tone, “this week I had a low one, so I became depressed, but I’m starting to feel better.”

Isak seeing Even like this just makes him want to comfort him. So he does. They are so close already that Isak only has to move slightly to rub his nose with Even’s and lets his hand travel to his cheek and starts caressing it with his thumb.

“Just take it slow-” Isak starts, but is interrupted by Even.

“You should leave.”

Isak stills with his hand on Even’s face. He must want to be alone, and if that’s what will help him feel better then Isak will leave. “Sorry, of course,” Isak starts, pausing for a moment to look at Even before removing his hand, wishing there was something more he could do for him instead of just leaving. “I’ll let you rest.” And when he does take his hand away Even’s eyes snap open.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” Even says, looking vulnerable, “you shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“What do you mean?”

“You deserve someone better… that isn’t like me.” he says, no longer meeting Isak’s eyes.

“Don’t say that…” Isak starts, “can’t I decide if I want you around or not?” He gently puts his hand on Even’s face to turn him around so that they are looking at each other. “This doesn’t change who you are Even.”

“Okay,” Even says, and he brings his head closer to Isak so that it’s resting just under his chin.

Isak moves them around so that his arm is around Even, and he starts making slow circles on his back. He can feel Even relax under his touch when he lets go of a breath he was holding and tentatively puts his hand on Isak’s waist to bring him closer.

 


	7. Chapter 7

When Monday arrives Isak waits nervously at the tram station for Even.

When Even shows up they start walking in silence towards Nissen, occasionally bumping shoulders as they walk. Right before they turn into the street of the school Even grabs Isak’s arm. “Isak... Uhm thanks for coming to my house the other day.”

He doesn’t let go of Isak’s arm; instead he starts to move his hand down slowly. Isak doesn't really know what to say so he just stares at Even’s hand as it reaches his own.

Even slowly looks up to meet his eyes, as if silently asking if it’s okay. Isak squeezes his hand to let him know that it is. Even smiles at him, crinkling his eyes, and starts walking backwards, pulling Isak by the hand.

With Even by his side, looking as confident as ever, Isak finds himself not really caring about the occasional stares they receive as they walk into the school.

When they reach the group Magnus grins at them and says, “aww you guys look so cute holding hands! Why is this the first time I'm seeing it? So adorable.”

Isak rolls his eyes and starts blushing. He still can't believe that his friends are so fine with this, he has even been sleeping better since he came out to them and it’s all thanks to Even.

He isn’t really paying attention to the conversation they’re having at the moment but he knows it’s about a party. Instead, Isak decides to focus on Even. On how his smile brightens his whole face while he talks to their friends and how his arm is now casually around Isak.

“Are you coming too?” Mahdi eventually asks Even.

Even glances sideways at Isak and arches his eyebrow, silently asking if he's going. Isak smiles shyly at him and gives a small nod. Then Even, not taking his eyes off Isak answers, “yeah... I'm going.”

 

***

 

They decided to have a pregame at the kollektiv and when Jonas receives a text with the address, they all leave for the party.

When they arrive Even leaves to find them both drinks. After time passes and he doesn’t return, Isak decides to go look for him. The minute he enters the kitchen, Even gives him a panicked look that quickly vanishes as he turns to the person he’s talking with.

Isak steps into the kitchen and that’s when he notices with whom Even is talking to. Emma has her back to Isak so she doesn’t see him, but he thinks that if Even expression is anything to go by, he doesn’t really want to talk to Emma right now so Isak decides he should at least return the favor for all the times Even has rescued him.

He steps closer to them and as soon as he’s close to Even he steps into his space, putting his back against his. Even immediately puts his hands around him to keep him in place.

“Hi Emma,” Isak says, giving her a small smile.

“Hi! You came to my party!”

“Oh? Jonas invited me but I didn’t know it was your house.”

“Yeah, I thought that well ...all the cool kids throw parties so I had to throw one myself. And I should actually get back to the door, but you guys have fun okay? We can chat later!” she says as she leaves.

Even rests his head against Isak’s and mumbles to him, “let’s just agree to not leave each other alone in this party, otherwise she’ll come talk to us.”

“Deal.”

 

***

 

After a couple of beers Isak finds himself in a corner with Even, their sides pressed together and Even’s arm around him. They’ve been making fun of all the drama that happened ever since they arrived at the party and now as they see Jonas putting a tentative arm around the girl he has been chatting in the past hour, Even chuckles before suggesting, “let's play a game.”

“Okay.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Isak answers.

“Is it true that you like kissing boys?” Even asks, playfully arching his eyebrows as he lets his hand that was resting on Isak’s shoulder slowly move down his arm.

Isak scoffs leaning closer to Even. “You know the answer to that already… So it’s my turn now.”

“Fine.” Even sighs. ”I pick dare.”

“Uhm…” Isak starts looking around for an idea, and that's when he notices Vilde walking towards Magnus and an idea forms in his head. “If Magnus manages to kiss Vilde in the next five minutes I dare you to let me pick the movie next time. ”

“Ugh this isn’t really fair, they can’t let go of each other,” Even says looking in their direction. “You’re making me watch Fast and Furious again, aren’t you?” Even whines dramatically as they watch Magnus kiss Vilde in the middle of the room a little later. ”Fine, my turn now.”

“I pick dare.”

Even watches the room carefully, taking his time to study what's around them. Then a small smile forms on his lips as he whispers in Isak’s ear, “I dare you to do whatever Jonas does next.”

It’s clear what’s about to happen next to anyone watching, so as they see Jonas leaning forward to kiss the girl, Isak turns around so that he’s facing Even.

Even stares at him, waiting for his next move. Isak notices that he's looking at his mouth so he licks his lips. Even swallows hard at the movement and then he pushes Isak against the wall he was just leaning to and kisses him hungrily. Isak puts his hands around Even to bring him closer. He starts running his hands in Even’s body, from his back to his waist and his other hand stays holding Even’s hair so that he doesn't move away.

Isak can’t quite believe this is happening; they’ve kissed before, but nothing like this. He still doesn’t know what Even wants with him, but he knows that they aren’t just friends.

When Even moves to kiss his neck, Isak opens his eyes and he remembers where they are: making out in a corner of a party. And even though that’s what half the people in the room are doing, Isak just wants to leave. He doesn’t want anyone seeing them like this so he brings his lips to Even’s ear and says, “let’s get out of here.”

Even takes a step back and Isak starts to follow him with his mouth. Isak tries to resist--he really does--but he ends up grabbing Even to bring him closer to him again. Even puts his hand under Isak’s shirt to grab his waist and that simple touch makes Isak shiver. He lets his mouth travel to Even’s neck, and as he kisses a path from his neck to his mouth Even moans softly in his ear and it’s the best sound Isak has ever heard in his life.

 

***

 

As soon as Isak opens the door of the kollektiv Even shoves him against the nearest wall and presses himself to Isak. He grabs Isak’s neck to bring their mouths together again and Isak grabs him by the waist and grinds against him, making both of them moan from the contact.

Suddenly they hear a throat being cleared. They quickly look to where the sound is coming from, only to find an amused Eskild looking at them from the couch.

“We have a rule Isak...” he starts, “and as much as I was enjoying the little show, I thought it best to remind you that there’s no fooling around... in common areas,” he says with a wink.

Isak starts to blush and he feels Even move slightly away from him. “Right,” he says turning his attention back to Even, whose lips swollen from their kisses and is looking like staying away from Isak is a struggle. Isak just wants to hold on to Even, to not let him leave his sight anytime soon and to kiss him until their mouths are sore. He reaches forward to grab Even’s hand and begins to walk towards his bedroom pulling Even with him.

 


	8. Chapter 8

When Isak wakes up in the morning he finds himself sleeping on Even’s chest once again; he can feel an arm around him and slow kisses being pressed to his forehead.

“Good morning,” Even whispers.

“Hey,” Isak says with a smile, cuddling closer to Even and enjoying the feeling of waking up like this, on how safe and content he feels hiding from the world in here and how good it would be if this was how he woke up every day.

He turns his head and presses a kiss to Even’s neck, appreciating the content sound Even makes because of it. Even lets his arm slowly run from Isak’s bare back to his face, gently passes his fingers through his hair. Isak can't help but remember last night--  how Even’s touch had felt all over his body, how his kisses made Isak feel like he was being set on fire. Isak just wanted to travel his hands all over Even’s body and kiss every bit of skin exposed in the process.

Isak is sure that after everything that has already happened between them, especially after last night, that Even must feel something for him too. They haven't talked about it yet, though, and the not knowing makes Isak feel nervous. He needs to know how Even feels about him. He can't fool around with Even, he cares too much about him, he feels too much for him and Isak wants it to be real between them.

Isak swallows trying to think of a way to ask him that. “Even?”

“Isak," he says playfully.

Isak supports his head on his arm that is currently on Even’s chest to be able to look him in the eye. When he doesn't smile back, Even’s smile slowly disappears and is replaced with a worried expression.

Even gently puts his hand on Isak’s cheek again before he speaks,. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you-do you like me?” Isak asks shyly.

“Of course I like you."

“I mean… are you still doing this just to help me out or do you like me?” Isak asks hesitantly.

Even frowns before he replies.“Do you really think that I've been doing all this just because I want to help you?”

“Well, no…” Isak confesses, not meeting his eyes, “but I need to know-”

“Do you know why I joined kosegruppa in the first place?” Even asks, interrupting him.

“No.”

“I saw you in the first day of school…” Even starts, while stroking Isak’s cheek with his thumb,“and I couldn’t look away. So I decided that I really needed to meet you.”

Isak immediately turns his focus back to Even’s deep blue eyes staring at him and whispers, “wow.”

They start grinning at each other and Even puts both his hands around Isak’s face to bring him closer. He rubs his nose with Isak’s and kisses his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, and when Even finally kisses Isak’s lips, he does it slowly.

While they kiss, they get lost in the moment and let their hands run lazily over their bodies. When they stop for air, Isak asks something he has been thinking about lately.

“Can you imagine where we’d be now if it wasn’t for you telling Emma we were fake dating?”

“Well I’d like to think that I had just asked you out before that, and then we wouldn’t have to be faking it,” Even says smiling at him.

“Maybe in a parallel universe there is an Even who did just that,” Isak says, wondering what it would be like to go on a date with Even.

“What about this universe?” Even asks, studying Isak’s face.

“What about it?”

“Is this still fake?” Even asks gently, looking unsure at Isak.

He never thought he could feel so much for a person, but whenever he’s close to Even it just feels like the universe has found the missing piece in his life, because they just fit perfectly around each other. So he answers him honestly, hoping that he wants the same thing. “I don't want it to be fake anymore.”

Even brings their mouths together once again for a slow kiss and then he rests his forehead against Isak’s. When he finally speaks, Isak can feel his lips moving next to his. “Good, because I want this to be real too.”

 

***

 

Isak decides to finally get out of bed when the smell of food being made reaches him. He gets up and grabs the first t-shirt he sees, and as he puts it on he can still smell the faint trace of Even in it. He leaves his bedroom to go to the kitchen and once he reaches the entrance he stops, leaning against the doorframe, admiring how relaxed Even looks cooking, humming and gently nodding his head to the rhythm of the song his phone is currently playing. He then notices Eskild on the other side of the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee with a knowing look on his face. Isak can’t help but blush remembering that Eskild saw them last night making out when they arrived, so he looks down, embarrassed.

He can feel Eskild looking at him but Isak’s decides to ignore him and turn his attention back to Even’s content expression while he cooks.

When Even finishes making the scrambled eggs he turns around with the pan in his hand and it’s only when he looks up from the pan that he seems to notice Isak staring at him. “Hey, you came just in time,” Even tells him with a bright smile, and Isak can't help but smile too.

As Isak moves slightly closer to Even, he tries to avoid getting too close to the hot pan as he puts a hand on Even’s back and gives him a light kiss on his cheek. He can still feel Eskild’s eyes following him so he decides to look back at him. But when he looks in his direction, he notices that Eskild has a kind smile on his lips. To Isak, Eskild is like an older brother that he looks up at, who helped him when he needed help the most and he’s very thankful for all that he did for him, so seeing Eskild happy for him is nice. Isak gives him a small smile in return.

“Did you sleep well?” Eskild asks him with an innocent expression.

Isak rolls his eyes; he loves Eskild, he really really does, but when he’s trying to embarrass him he just wants him to go away, so Isak gives him an annoyed look to try to get him out of the kitchen. “Yes... I did.”

Then Eskild, not looking impressed, sighs loudly. “Well… I guess I must be going now.”

“Oh, you don’t want some breakfast?” Even asks, glancing at Eskild.

“No, no, thanks. I’m going to try and get Linn to have breakfast with me,” Eskild says as he starts to walk towards the door. When he passes Isak by the door he pats him on the shoulder and whispers, “he’s cute.” Then he winks and Isak brings his hand up to cover his face in embarrassment.

“Bye Even, I’m sure I’ll see you around!” Eskild shouts from the hallway.

“Bye Eskild!” Isak shouts back, trying to sound annoyed.

After Even moves to the counter to put the food into two plates he glances at Isak still smiling and asks, “I made breakfast, you hungry?”

“Very.”

Even drops the pan in the sink and then comes to stand in front of Isak and slowly putting his arms around Isak to bring him closer. Isak brings one arm to be around Even and the other to be around his neck. Even brings their foreheads together and lightly rubs their noses together before he closes his eyes and asks softly. “Did you really sleep well?”

“Yeah. And you?” Isak’s smiling, enjoying how good it feels to be able to hold Even, finally knowing for sure that he wants Isak to do it, that he also wants this between them.

Instead of answering, Even chooses to close the small space between them and gives Isak a slow kiss. He starts murmuring something across his lips so Isak, not really sure what Even is saying, moves a few millimeters away from him.“What?”

Even, smiling, extends his arm to reach for his phone to turn the volume up and starts saying the lyrics of the song while looking straight at Isak. “ _There’s nothing that can cool me down._ ”

Isak moves his head a little away so that he can see Even better and rolls his eyes. “Are you serious right now?”

“What?” Even asks, frowning for a second before putting his arms around Isak again.

“Gabrielle?”

Even ignores him and starts to move slightly to the rhythm to the song. “ _There’s no one else I’d rather do this with..._ ” He kisses Isak again, pushing him against the counter, and Isak can’t help but put his hands around Even’s neck and to deepen the kiss.

But as Isak starts feeling Even moving against him still focusing on the rhythm of the song, he moves away, grinning. “I can’t take you seriously right now.”

“Why not?” Even asks, grinning too as he moves to kiss Isak’s neck.

“Because you’re singing Gabrielle,” Isak replies as he hears his stomach roar.

Even, smiling, starts to walk backwards and away from Isak. “Fine, let’s go eat before it gets cold. And then we are going to listen to this song on repeat until you admit that you like it.”

“Not happening,” Isak answers as he grabs the plates to bring to the table. He starts smiling because he doesn’t really mind the song, and now it will always remember him of Even and the day that they finally worked things out between them. No more pretending; from now on, everything between them is going to be real.

 


End file.
